BEREA, OH — In what witnesses are describing as “one of the more memorable things I’ve seen in a Waffle House parking lot, and I’ve seen a lot of things in Waffle House parking lots,” Cleveland Browns mascot Chomps was discovered early Tuesday morning hunched against a dumpster, loudly weeping into a laminated copy of the team’s 2024 season schedule.

The schedule had been annotated extensively in red marker. Nearly every week was circled. Several were crossed out with the word “NO” written next to them. Week 13 — a 27-3 home loss to the Denver Broncos — had been defaced to the point of illegibility.

“He just kept saying, ‘I believed in them,’” said waitress Darlene Kowalczyk, who brought Chomps a complimentary cup of coffee around 2:15 a.m. “Over and over. ‘I believed in them, Darlene. I believed in them.’ I don’t know how he knew my name.”

Background

The 2024 Cleveland Browns season concluded what sports analysts are calling “a historically bad 14-month stretch” for the franchise. Quarterback Deshaun Watson, signed to a fully-guaranteed $230 million contract that the team will spend the next several years quietly paying off like a timeshare they can’t get out of, played approximately one and a half functional games before suffering a season-ending injury for the second consecutive year. The team finished 3-14, fired their head coach, and entered a full organizational rebuild that team insiders have described, repeatedly and grimly, as “a process.”

Chomps, a large brown dog of indeterminate breed whose entire identity is built around enthusiasm for a team that has made enthusiasm increasingly difficult to sustain, has reportedly been struggling.

“He used to come in here every Sunday before games,” said Gary Pemberton, a Waffle House regular who has occupied the same corner stool since 2019. “He’d get the All-Star Special. Scattered, smothered, covered. Big smile. You could really tell he thought it was going to be different this time.”

Gary paused and stared into his coffee.

“He hasn’t been in on a Sunday since October.”

The Scene

Officers responding to a noise complaint at 1:47 a.m. described the scene as “emotionally complex.” Chomps was not violent or disorderly. He was, according to the incident report, simply “very, very sad in a public place,” which officers noted is “not technically illegal but is pretty hard to watch.”

When asked what he was doing, Chomps reportedly produced a printed copy of the team’s current dead cap situation — $72 million in dead money on the books, spread across the next two seasons from Watson’s contract alone — and held it up without comment.

One officer asked if there was someone he could call.

Chomps said Deshaun Watson probably wouldn’t pick up.

The officer agreed that was probably true.

A Statement From the Browns Organization

The Cleveland Browns organization released a brief statement Wednesday morning: “We are aware of the situation involving Chomps and are committed to supporting all members of the Browns family during what is, admittedly, a challenging transitional period. We remain confident in the direction of the franchise and look forward to an exciting new era of Cleveland Browns football.”

When reached for further comment, a team spokesman added: “Please stop asking us about the contract.”

What Comes Next

Sources close to Chomps say he has been encouraged by team personnel staff to take some time away, focus on his wellbeing, and perhaps try to get interested in something else for a while. Suggestions have included gardening, light hiking, and “literally anything that doesn’t involve checking the injury report.”

Chomps has reportedly downloaded a mindfulness app, but keeps setting the notification sound to the Browns fight song, which defeats the purpose.

As of press time, he had returned to the Waffle House parking lot. He ordered a pecan waffle. He did not finish it.

He tipped very well, which somehow made it sadder.

“You know what the worst part is?” Chomps told this reporter, before we clarified that we were a reporter and asked if he had a comment. “The worst part is I’ll be back there in September. I always come back.”

— Chomps, Cleveland Browns mascot, 3:12 a.m., a Waffle House parking lot in Berea, Ohio